No More Faking It

There just isn't enough porn made for chicks like ourselves. What gives? To get to the bottom of this quagmire, we've been asking every woman we meet for weeks now the same question: "How do you like your porn?"

We started with the porn stars themselves, going down to the Exotic Dancers Expo, IA2000, and then the AVN awards in Las Vegas and New Orleans. After that, we settled back in New York City recruiting women into our living room for porn-watching soirées to compare favorite scenes with our local librarian, the waitress at the corner coffee shop, and that girl in the elevator that you never dared to speak to. Here's what we found out.

WE WANT TO BE MINDFUCKED

At the IA2000, porn star extrordinaire Nikki Nova took a moment from her professional powder-puff duties to slyly say, "I'm shy," when it comes to what gets her off in porn. Nikki is famous for getting Carpal Tunnel syndrome from masturbating and considers herself "degenerate-to-the-core," so we kept bothering her until she told us the deal.

"Guys don't have a clue what women want," Nova explains while rapping about the new vibrating-finger sex toy that kept her entertained on the eight-hour drive from Texas to New Orleans. "Porn can be a little insulting towards women so a lot of girls just write it off. When you're horny and jerking off, men just want to see that shot, I suppose, but with women there really needs to be some kind of mindfuck."

Seymour Butts, porn star extrordinaire and Ron Jeremy replacement, is one of the few people trying to up the ante as far as quality goes. "I think the key to making female-friendly porn is that it's all about fun. The girls shouldn't be unhappy," he says. "Yeah," adds his partner in crime McKayla, after pulling down her tight white stretch pants to show us her shaved pussy "It's educational! We're teaching men how to make women ejaculate!"

McKayla also added "There's a lot of anal in porn," but admitted it had nothing to do with what we were asking.

If you haven't checked out Seymour's work before, the Squirters series isn't a bad place to start. This step-by-step guide on stimulating the g-spot is a real gusher.

WE LIKE TO SQUIRT

Another hot squirter movie that we often watch at the sessions is How to Female Ejaculate (SIR Productions, 1997). Watching woman after woman grunt and moan as they squirt clear cum two feet in the air and three feet across the room is not only hilarious, it's inspirational. Our friends screamed, "Goddamn, no fucking way" and all asked the anticipated follow-up question: "How the hell did they do that?"

"Practice makes perfect," we responded, sending them home with three different g-spotter toys each.

Jackie Strano and Shar Rednour, the visionaries behind the all-female porn company SIR Productions (Sex, Indulgence, and Rock 'n Roll) want to "change the way people fuck." They have been getting women into porn and porn into women for years and, for them, it's all about getting off. "Our mission is to make educational, enlightening, entertaining, and highly erotic videos that will provoke, inspire, arouse, and uplift people's attitudes and habits around sex and sexual health."

Strano and Rednour have done more than teach girls how to blow their loads. They've also shown us that dudes getting fucked by girls wearing dildos really floats our boat. Bend Over Boyfriend (SIR Productions, 1998) is the clear choice for female-powered experimentation. It's all about how to bend your guy over the table and give it to him good in his anus. Watching women strap one on as their boy-toys beg for more received a thumbs up all around.