And the Children of Vanalstyne were fruitful, and increased like unto Rabbits, and they became a Great people.
And there rose up a new King of the Actorites, who knew not the ways of the Theatre.
And he said unto his people, Behold, the Children of the Hammer are more and mightier than we. Let us deal with them lest they become Lords of the Theatre and steal our audience.
Therefore, they did set over them with petty complaints to afflict them with their burdens, and to break their Spirit.
Complaints about Props, and Makeup, Costumes, and Sets, Lighting, and all Manner of Technical Things.
And the actors did cause the Techies to serve with rigour, fixing all problems that arose, and the Techies were grieved by their afflictions.
And the Techies knew no way to relieve their afflictions, for without the actors, truly, they thought, they would have no Audience.
And so, the only way they might relieve their cares was by doing Multiplication.
On tables.
Tnek begat Siradinok,
Who begat Uanesor,
Yada yada yada.
Scene II
And when the Techie race had Multiplied quite a lot, Thespior, the king of the Actorites saw that the Children of the Hammer were yet greater and mightier than before.
And so, Thespior said unto the People of Vanalstyne, Every child that is born unto you from this time forth must be sent into exile in the lands of Gleeclub.
And the Techies were sore aggrieved to give up their children, but they knew not how to resist the Actorites.
And it came to pass that there was born a certain Techie child, and the child's mother wished that he might not be sent into Gleeclub.
Therefore, she placed her child into a box and placed the box in the Dressing Room.
And it came to pass that he was found by Primadonna, the daughter of Thespior, and she did take compassion on him.
And she said, I will raise this child as my son, and his name shall be called Mikita, for that is the name on the box.
And so, Mikita grew to be a man in the house of Thespior, and he learned the way of the actor, yet he was not an actor.
And one day, Mikita went out unto his brethren, and he beheld an actor complaining to a Techie.
And Mikita was consumed with annoyance, and did tell the actor to bugger off.
Whereupon, Mikita was forced to flee from the Theatre, for Thespior was pissed.
Scene III
He fled into the wilderness, where he came upon a Tablesaw which did turn and turn, and though it was not plugged in, yet ran not out of power.
And he heard a Voice which called, Mikita, Mikita, Mikita.
And Mikita did say, I'm here, I'm here.
The Voice did say unto him, I am the TD of thy fathers, the TD of Tnek, the TD of Siradinok, and the TD of Ueasenor. And Mikita did put on Safety goggles, for he was afraid to look on the TD.
Moreover, He said, go thou unto Thespior, king of the Actorites, and tell to him, Thus sayest the TD of Vanalstyne, Let my people go!
And so, Mikita returned to the land of Thespior, and he did go unto Thespior and said unto him, thus sayeth the TD, let my people go!
And Thespior said unto Mikita, I do not know the TD, neither will I let the Techies go, now go away and bother me not, for I must learn my lines, and I have a headache, and my costume is too small, and my props are unsuitable.
And Mikita said unto Thespior, Behold, since you will not let the Techies go, the TD will cause the Techies to cease their work, and a host of plagues to descend upon you, until you will let the Techies go.
But still, Thespior's heart was hardened, and he would not relent, whereupon, the TD did cause the Techies to cease their work, and a host of plagues did descend on the actors.
On the first night, the Techies did cease their work, and the Set was unfinished, and the actors moved upon it, walking where there would be walls, and sitting where there was no furniture, and the audience did laugh at them.
On the second night, the Techies did cease to work, and all the props in the land were lost or broken by the actors, and the actors had no props upon the Stage, and the audience did laugh.
On the third night, the Techies did cease to work, and there was no one to repair the costumes that the clumsy actors had ripped, and the actors had to go unto the Stage in nakedness, and the audience laughed even harder.
On the fourth night, the Techies ceased work, and the actors found they could not make the audience hear, for they had grown accustomed to using microphones, and now they had none.
On the fifth night, the Techies ceased work, and there was none to work the rigging, and the curtain did not rise, so the audience got bored and went home.
On the sixth night, the Techies ceased work, and there was a thick darkness which covered the entire land, and the audience could not see the actors, and went home.
On the seventh night, the Techies ceased work, and there was none to prompt the actors, whereupon the actors had to improvise near to the whole play, and the audience did laugh and groan.
On the eighth night, the Techies ceased work, and there was none to call cues and tell the actors when to go on, so nothing happened at all, and the audience left, but only after demanding that the actors refund the many shekels they had paid.
On the ninth night, the Techies ceased to work, and there was none to advertise the play, sell tickets, make programs, or organize anything like unto a Bake Sale, whereupon no one came to see the play, although by this time, most people had heard it was indeed a crappy play, and would not have come any way.
On the tenth night, the Techies ceased work, and there were only actors at the cast party, which caused it to be a very sad thing, since the actors were sore aggrieved about the failure of the play, and many had drunk intoxicating waters and were vomiting until they were hard pressed for space to sit down or sleep.
Whereupon, Thespior called Mikita unto him and did say, Lo, you have stricken us with many plagues, and our people are sore aggrieved, and the audience has laughed at us.
Wherefore, you may be free, but we now see we cannot survive without you. Therefore, stay, and work as free men, and our two peoples will be fruitful together and share the rewards of our friendship.
Thereupon, Mikita said unto Thespior that the TD must decide, and went unto the Tablesaw to hear the word of the TD.
Scene IV
And when Makita had come again to the Tablesaw, the TD called out to him, saying I am the TD, who hath brought thee out of servitude.
Thou shalt follow my laws, and thou shalt be blessed among men, for those who follow my laws build according to the draft of righteousness.
Therefore, receive and obey these Ten Really Important Rules, and keep them in your hearts and minds for ever.
I am the TD, the Backstage, the Scenedock. Thou shalt have no other place but me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image without a draft, lest without one you do something wrong.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wood, nor his tools, nor his show job, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.
Honor thy tools, thy hammer and screwgun, thy jigsaw and router, lest they cease to function or cause you Grievous Bodily Harm.
Thou shalt not act. Truly the actor is needed in the Theatre, but remember that thou art a Techie.
Thou shalt not injure thy fellow Techie in any way, whether through carelessness, cruelty, or perversion.
Thou shalt not take the name of the TD in vain, nor say any insult unto the TD's face, for the TD does control who gets the good show jobs.
Thou shalt not be ignorant of thy task or thy surroundings. If thou understandest not thy task, ask for help, but once you know, let not your mind wander from completing it. But, be not so absorbed in work that you see not the batten flying in on top of you.
Thou shalt not begrudge to offer your help where you are needed, albeit the task be not to your liking.
Above all, keep always in your heart your love and faith for the Theatre, your memories of good times and friends, and they shall sustain you through all things.
Whereupon, the TD ceased to speak, and commanded Makita to bring forth two pieces of three-quarters of an inch plywood.
This done, a gleaming router did appear in the air, and did inscribe these Ten Really Important Rules unto the plywood.
And the TD said unto Makita, Go, take these laws unto my children, follow them with thy heart, and you and your successors shall prosper.